Dictator's log: Monday. July 19. 12:31 A.M.

Dear Reader,
I am beginning to think that trying to conquer Italy in July was not the best idea. It is entirely too hot. While the food is excellent, the gelato divine, and the people hospitable, the heat is unbearable. I shower in the morning after I wake and in the evening before I sleep and neither make a bit of difference, I still smell. I start sweating before I can even get dressed. These are certainly not the ideal circumstances for victory. However, my recent trip to Munich, Germany has revived my spirits greatly and given me hope. Yes, Germany is much cooler than Florence, making conquest much easier, but I could never achieve success there. You see, it is entirely too westernized to be easily conquered, even by a mastermind like myself. So while I will have to stick with my original plan of occupying Italy, I was nevertheless amused by my short sabbatical with the Germans.

Upon my arrival, via train, I was greeted with the friendly sight of a Starbucks Coffee. I know that for me, and certainly for the rest of the group, this brightened our spirits tremendously. We all rushed into line to have a bit of American cravings satisfied. This was going to be a good trip. A very good trip. After downing our beverages and quickly dropping off our luggage at the hostel, we all boarded a train to Dachau concentration camp. I must preface this by saying this is not an enjoyable daytrip. Yes it is incredible to experience but no, it is certainly not fun. The horrors that so many experienced are difficult to imagine by simply reading a history book. There is no way that one can picture or even begin to understand what these people went through. For starters, the gate to the “camp” has the words “Work makes you free” written across the entryway. A slight the Germans found funny. The bunkhouses were beyond crowded, being built for 200 but stuffed with 2,000. Thankfully, the newly built crematorium was never put into use, since the camp was liberated shortly after it was finished.
That’s enough depressing content for one post... moving directly forward...

The rest of my visit was not nearly as depressing (thank goodness!). The very same night, our group paid a friendly (albeit, slightly embarrassing, due to the “authentic” German lederhosen and dirndls purchased and worn for the occasion) visit to the REAL Hofbräuhaus. My meal consisted of disgusting, mustard-like dressing on my salad, followed by the best, most delicious chicken I’ve ever had. I split it with my friend and co-conspirator, Amy, and together we picked the bones clean until there wasn’t a single morsel of meat left. So good. The evening ended with a mime picking me up, which caused my dress to fly up, and resulted in me flashing the entire square. Thankfully, a picture was not taken, much to the dismay of my friends, who were beside themselves with laughter.

My favorite part of the trip, however, was not the entirely too delicious poultry, or even the spectacle of men cracking whips in the air, which supposedly qualifies as a band? Apparently the Hofbräuhaus thinks so. No, it was neither of these things. After a long and very hot bike tour all over Munich, our group stopped at a local river for a swim. I know what you’re thinking and no, it is not like the lazy river around the Beach Waterpark in Cincinnati. The stream comes down from the Alps and is therefore very cold and very rapid. So fast that even though it is only three feet deep, the bottom is never reached because you are swept away before you have time to touch down. After a brisk first ride down the river, one of our group members thought it would be an excellent idea to take a picture with all of us holding on to a bridge that the river passed underneath. So we all jumped in and, when the time came, grabbed on to the bottom of the bridge. Unfortunately, we did not take into account the strength of the rushing water and were immediately pulled down underneath the bridge... along with the bottoms of our bathing suits. Thankfully, no trunks were lost (for long) and no bottomless swimmers emerged from the water.All-in-all, it was a splendid weekend and many of us were disappointed when we were forced to return to the hot and humid city of Florence, and the dreaded classes it contains.

And for your viewing pleasure: